I never really understood the point of blogging. However, even as I say that, I know that's not really true. I have just never really been one to blog. Why? I don't know. I could come up with a hundred different reasons. Why have I refused to to many things that "followed the crowd"? I guess it really comes down to laziness. I am terrible and keeping things up to date. Take my journal for example, the last time I wrote in it was early December of last year, when I was just engaged and I had to get out my frustrations of planning a wedding. (definitely one of the more stressful times) Prior to that entry I had several entries close together starting from when I decided that I knew that I was going to marry my husband up to the 2 weeks after he and I got engaged. Then it stopped. The best part about the journal is: The first entry date starts in November of 2002. No, that's not a typo. 2002 as in 9 1/2 years ago. I find it humorous to read back to those entries and see what my brain thought was important back then. Strangely, I think every entry talked about whatever boy I was frustrated with or trying to date or whatever the case may be. There were some more memorable events in there such as the time I went through the temple. (again I mentioned the guy I was dating and intested in at the time) Thinking about all those times, I realize how important dating was to a girl. Apparently it was always something we wanted to talk about. I guess it was my way of getting my thoughts, hopes, or frustrations out of my head. I found it as my way to clear my head.
Now that I am married, I smile because I am SO glad that none of those relationships worked out. There are some that I think back to that were so important to me at the time, and I was so upset when they didn't actually work out. Had they worked out, I wouldn't have met my husband today. Granted, I don't know that I wouldn't have been happy with one of those guys that I dated back then, but I do know that those relationships helped make me who I am today. Not the relationships themselves, but the heartbreak to help make me stronger and learn how to stand on my own two feet.
I was talking to a friend the other day. He was telling me about some dates he went on and the all the feelings accompanied with dating a new person after another long relationsheip ends. I couldn't help but be grateful that I don't have to play those silly dating games any more. Now, I am playing a "married game". It's much better. Obviously the marriage isn't going to be perfect and I can't say that I have not gotten frustrated. I can say however, that I know that I love my husband and we both want to be happy. I have never been with anyone who has worked so hard to make me happy. (not that it's hard work-just being with him makes me happy) But he really does do things that make me laugh and smile. I love his two children. When they come over we have a great time playing games and coming up with something to do. I have gotten used to giving up my phone or ipad when his daughter, Aurora, asks, "Can I play on your computer?" or "Can I play on your phone?" This morning, She was playing on my iPad when I was leaving for work, and Rory asked me if I needed to take my iPad to work. I took one look at her playing and said that I could get by without it. I am such a sucker for those kids. I can't imagine what I am going to be like when we have our own....
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